It's 6:18 am Saturday morning as I begin writing this and I've been awake for at least 45 minutes. It's still dark out but I can feel it getting lighter in the window behind me. I'm at my grandfathers house in Caledon. He doesn't live here anymore. I love how quiet it is compared to Toronto. I love when no one else is awake. The house backs on to a busy road but no one is out this early. On the other side is a field with a ravine, which my dad affectionately called the family farm last night. It was what drew my grandparents here in the first place. A little piece of home.
I haven't had a cigarette for 12 hours.That may be part of the reason I'm wide awake. Once the intense craving passed last night I didn't really want one but I was worried about the sleep thing. I bought the patch and the nicotine spray. As strange as it may sound (or hypocritical) I'm having a hard time with the thought of putting the chemicals into my body. At least when I'm smoking there's a point...or it's enjoyable at least.
My mind is racing with what I need to do to prepare for the move. And what I'd like to do if I didn't have the to do list. I was thinking about visiting Chez Thrift and the Restore. I miss wandering thrift stores on the regular looking for little treasures...the thrills...the highs. I think today it's best to focus on moving related chores and errands. Those stores are currently filled with all the family heirlooms I didn't have room for anyway.