It seems two months have passed since I posted something here. We are now in the heat of summer and I'm not sure where the last two months have gone.
There was a storm in the early morning hours. At 5:00 am I awoke to a loud crack of thunder. I felt the ground shake. I listened to the rain and the intermittent thunder. I watched the flashes of lightening illuminate my bedroom. I am not sure if I was having a bad dream but I had a feeling like I was in danger. While storms typically have a relatively calming affect, Meow Meow and I sat up, wide awake on high alert. Her presence is soothing although this morning she would not stop howling at me. I wish I knew what she was trying to say. I'm sure she finds me equally irritating at times.
I have exhausted my work duties. My administrative tasks are complete. I cleaned around my desk, rearranged some of the items on my desktop. Cleaned around the printer. Stretched at my desk (I should do that more often). Made tea. Ate lunch. It's only 1:08 now. I will be here for another 4 hours. I want to step away and read my book but I don't want to risk running into anyone I know, from past or present work. I've read through my notebook and updated my lists, gone through all the emails in my inbox to ensure nothing is outstanding. It's humid outside and after the commotion last night I am having a tough time staying alert.
I have a lot on my mind but I don't want to talk to anyone. I hope that no one asks. I no longer want to be open with people who don't understand me. Everyone wants to know and everyone wants to give their opinion. Very few people listen and try to understand. I don't want to give myself to people anymore. At the end of the day, there is nothing left for me. I crave feeling understood and heard. I am tired of being judged.
There was a storm in the early morning hours. At 5:00 am I awoke to a loud crack of thunder. I felt the ground shake. I listened to the rain and the intermittent thunder. I watched the flashes of lightening illuminate my bedroom. I am not sure if I was having a bad dream but I had a feeling like I was in danger. While storms typically have a relatively calming affect, Meow Meow and I sat up, wide awake on high alert. Her presence is soothing although this morning she would not stop howling at me. I wish I knew what she was trying to say. I'm sure she finds me equally irritating at times.
I have exhausted my work duties. My administrative tasks are complete. I cleaned around my desk, rearranged some of the items on my desktop. Cleaned around the printer. Stretched at my desk (I should do that more often). Made tea. Ate lunch. It's only 1:08 now. I will be here for another 4 hours. I want to step away and read my book but I don't want to risk running into anyone I know, from past or present work. I've read through my notebook and updated my lists, gone through all the emails in my inbox to ensure nothing is outstanding. It's humid outside and after the commotion last night I am having a tough time staying alert.
I have a lot on my mind but I don't want to talk to anyone. I hope that no one asks. I no longer want to be open with people who don't understand me. Everyone wants to know and everyone wants to give their opinion. Very few people listen and try to understand. I don't want to give myself to people anymore. At the end of the day, there is nothing left for me. I crave feeling understood and heard. I am tired of being judged.